Last month I wrote a blog titled, The Dumb Thing about Smartphones.  The conclusion of the blog was that smartphones are great, but that they are also fragile and easy to steal.  I wrote the blog after reading an article describing a rise in the occurrence of “Apple Picking” or “someone stealing your phone directly from your hand while you’re on it” and also the fact that I had only weeks earlier broke my own phone by slamming it in the car door when it sneakily slid out of my pocket as I sat down.  The sticker price of a smartphone alone is enough to make one cringe at the idea of breaking or losing it, but then add in all sorts of personal data, application access, photos, videos, etc. and the idea of breaking or losing it becomes crippling.  Luckily, I found that there are already crafty individuals making protective iPhone cases to combat theft, such as the “Knucklecase” which is a pair of brass knuckles stuck on the side of your iPhone, or a couple of pepper spray variety iPhone cases, which can be seen here.

Anyway, it got me thinking, what other types of protective cases could someone make that might protect your phone or deter criminals from taking it?  Well here is what I came up with:

The iPhone Flambé
What keeps criminals from getting their greasy mitts on your phone and is also great at barbeques?  That’s right, it’s the iPhone FlambĂ©; part smartphone, part flamethrower.  I imagine it would look something like this:

 And do something like this:

The Brick House

Those looking for something a little more practical might find themselves leaning towards this classic, yet always stylish Brick House; an iPhone case, paperweight and hand operated concussion generator all rolled into one.

Ninja Throwing Phone
Now, when you throw your phone in anger it is less likely to break and more likely to stick into your wall…

Baby on Board
The Baby on Board is an app built to recognize your personal heat signature and when separated from you will, like a baby from its mother, cry incessantly, become uncooperative and eventually mess itself.

Not only do you get two phones, and not only does one phone act as an anchor for the other, but with some practice these iChucks can be a serious weapon.  Though I do recommend pairing them with the Brick House for optimal effect.